start of the wk

okie... i was late for school 2dae...!!! im in deep shit man... i jump fm my bad n took a quick shower... like malay sae MANDI COWBOI...hehe... dn when i reached the bus stop... i was smoking so i walk behind n guess hu i saw..?!! MY BIGGEST COMPATITOR IN SECONDARY SCHOOL...!!! ALI...!!! he alwaes like raudah n wanted her but in the end he did not win her heart n i did...!!! dn we tok awhile n i miss afew of my bus n im so the late cn smoke n cheat chat wit him summore... dn when i rached school.. i went to class n my fren said my hair was NICE n HE WAS JEALOUS...!!! so he ask mi to follow him cut his hair after school... dn we went for tea break n i went out to smoke wit my fren dn i saw aisha's crew mate n she smiled at mi... so frenli.. n i smiled back.. aisha sae she is a flirt but to mi shez not... dn went back class to hear my teacher's boring tok dn headed hm but my fren ask mi to follow him cut hair so i did at afgan...after he cut his hair... i look at my handfone n it was time to haed to the cc for my dance prac. n our performance is this satdae n im so not prepared yet...!!! as i walk to the bus stop juz in time the bus came.... i did not noe y but my mood swing realli bad.... when i got up the bus.. the first person i saw was amir.... i sat wit him but we did not tok much till we came down coz we toking about soccer...!! wakaka....dn we met the others at cc roof top but as my mood was bad... i was not smiling at all...thought my D'PHAT family could put a smile on my face but they could not...i wonder y...dn i took my note book to the 5th floor n juz sat n wrote wat was on my mind n watz the probz i tink i facing or feeling... dn fadlee aso came up but he juz walked pass mi smiled n went sum other place... as i was lying down dn iffa came n sat beside mi... her face n tok juz put a smile on my face...!!! thx darl... dn we tok n joke around like we alwaes do when fadz came n join us.... she told mi sumthing that made my dae 2...!!! SHE SAE SHE WAS LOOKING FOR MI WHEN I WAS MISSING FROM HER SIGHT..DN SHE ASK IZHAN N LOOK DOWNSTAIRS BUT SHE COULD NOT FIND MI DN SHE CAME UP N WAS HAPPI TO SEE MI...!!!! HOW SWIT N CARING...!!! HEARTZ U GAL...!!! dn we went down to join the rest n soon neya came... dn aisha came aso juz to chill wit us...soon we started our prac. n it was so tiring....dn as we were prac. for the last time... FRAZE N SHAZ came...!!! THOUGHT SUMONE SAE HE NOT CUMING DOWN ANI MORE..??!! WAN STEP MISSING IN ACTION....!!! WORLD AR..!!! dn as for SHAZ... i did not shake her hand or look or even tok to her but y must she tok about mi..??!! summore itz like very sarcestic...she sae A.. ANTO ASO PERFORMING..?? DOES THAT BOTHER OR EVEN GOT TO DO WIT U...??!! JUS SHUT UR MOUTH LAZ...!!! as u said in ur blog I WAS PUTTING WORDS IN UR MOUTH... DID I..?? GO CHECK UR EARS B4 U ANI HOW SAE LAZ OR FIND OUT THE REAL TRUTH FIRST... I WAS SAEING FRAZE NOT U LAZ....!!! THATZ Y IM NOT GONNA APOLOGISE TO U.... dn we pack n headed to tele park n as we were walking.. fadlee took mi that shaz ask aisha y aisha came down n how she noe we dance there... HU THE BIG FUCK SHE TINKZ SHE IS TO QUSTION OR ASK AISHA THAT HUH..??!! go stay hm n look after ur baby sista laz... hope she grow up n not become 2 FACED LIKE U...!!! btw fadz fadlee n mi toked about amir otw to tele park n itz great that we cn c amir has changed n we like him nw...atleast he made the effert to change n c his mistakez.... im so happy for u BRO...!!!

MY FEELINGZ INSIDE....
Y M I feeling this wae..?!! hope sumone could UNDERSTAND or juz tel mi y m i feeling so LOST N CONFUSED...!!! im trying to recall where i went rong... isit about my life or relationship...? guess itz about relationphip...how m i gonna tel her we should not go on wit this relationship animore...?? i m sure it would break her heart really bad... n i do not wan to see her getting hurt... haix... wat should i do..?? i m so confuse now...!!!! CN SUMONE JUZ SHOOT MI IN THE HEAD OR JUZ STAB MI IN THE BACK..??!! A SILENT BUT SLOW DEATH... i m gonna break down soon... as each dae passes.. im feeling weaker n weaker...IM SERIOUS.. IM GONNA CUT MYSELF REALLI DEEP... juz wait n see wat happenz...sorri u guyz.. whoever which did not let mi cut myself or do not want to tok to mi if ever they found out i cut my hand again...but seriousli it makes mi feel betta...n hope u all cn accapt the person i m... if u r my real true fren... coz u juz dunno how im feeling...