the RETURN

hahaz i 4got my past word to get into here coz itz been like wat.. 7 mthz i nvr blog..?!!!
kz i woke up early tis morning juz to c if my piglet got to school n yes after 5 long daes of her own holidae she did n she sae she was late 4 her test.. doinkz..!!!! dn my mum woke up n ask mi y m i nt changed yet coz i 4got i had to bring her 4 check up... when she came out fm the room.. i tot she was onli suffering fm low blood but tis time round.. she has heart failer..!!! o.m.g...!!! n the doctor sae she cnt worry too much or it wud get worse.. hw in the blue hell m i gonna tel her abt my own sickness coz it was getting bad to worse nw n i was juz about to tel her abt it but guess i juz hav to keep it fm her till as long as antonio is still around...haix.. sum1 once told mi..alwaes tink positive anto.. im trying but itz too hard 4 mi nw bro.. hope sum1 cn b there 4 mi ryt nw... but i dun wanna trouble ani1 coz every1 has their own problem...

last nite.. i had a kol from nigga shit n not onli was he on the fone but c-zar was on the fone too... n as i expected.. there was 1 more problem to face.. n nw it was about the money which nigga shit pass to han n han sae he pass all the money to mi.. W.T.F...!!!!! y m i in every pic. of hype's problem nw..?!!!!!! wat did i do huh..?!! first every1 hate mi coz the tink i got new frenz dn wanna m.i.a.. dn han tinkz i n hid r 2gether.. btw bro if ur reading tis.. hid got betta taste la im nt even near her standed...i wanna put our friendship on fire but nah juz kidding.. dn tot vin vin was some1 who cn understand mi but guess i was rong coz after wat nigga sae.. even c-zar hu is partner wit vin vin dun trust him... there is onli 1 thing tat showz.. D.T.A..!!! nw.. y must han put mi in the pic. n sae im holding all the money when i dun even noe anithing...!!! r u stabbing mi in the back or wat man..?!! itz like ur being a 2 faced mother fucker to mi nw...!!!

as 4 iszy.. so wat if i send hid home or nt.. it does nt disturb u or ur family ape... so y u wanna tok to mi till like tat sae... hate mi if u wan coz i dun come bagging 4 ur frenship so y i wanna care...!!!

as 4 vin vin .. sorry abg if my mind set as change 2wardz u coz watz happening nw to HYPE made mi tink tis wae... till the air is cleared dn im sure i wud b back on track wit HYPE..

as 4 yan .. dunno u tat well yet bro but ur giving mi a very bad impact on u coz ppl judge wat they c n watz happening nw to u is like very hard to b lif man.. hope ur true to pplz frenship coz trust dun come tat easily.. u got to earn it...

nigga shit.. hmm.. wonder hw a 6 years plus frenship cn turn out tis wae nw... mayb coz i hav been too patient n let u treat mi like ur bank n like a fool too sumtimes but guess wat... i hav finally had enough man... itz time 4 u to juz wake up n get a life of ur own.. u sae u wanna change or isit like wat.. ur changing but to mi ur juz the same old syed nezar i knew 6 yrz ago man... u wanna noe when we r gonna b back to normal..? the dae u hav changed infront of tis 2 eyes of mine...

n nt 4getting han.. hahaz... sista.. guess i finally seen ur true colourz n it makez mi sick man... i feel like vomitting ryt nw... first.. u had a nice n beautiful gf but u juz treat her like trash... itz like onli at club shez ur gf.. dn never look after her or was there when she nidz sum1.. W.T.F..!! tis is so pathetic man.. n u go shooting at her about she telling c-zar abt ur nt her bf.. if i was her i wud do the same.. tank god ur nt her bf animore coz ur juz making her suffer more.. she deserve a much betta guy dn a 'guy' like u... n guess ur a 2 faced mother fucker huh..? oppz... i love plaeing tis game 2... try mi...hahaz...

im in a dilemma nw too coz iszy n the gang of HYPE eastside boiz told mi tat dun b like nigga shit got new frenz dn M.I.A but i like being wit my new family too... they r fun to hang out wit n they make mi feel like im part of them... at the same time.. i dun wanna make the eastside boiz tink tat i hav 4gotten them coz they r the once who gav mi all the fun n feel of going clubbing n a new life... im realli grateful 4 tat but the wae thingz r turning out in HPYE nw is making mi more confused n lost n i juz dunno the wae out from tis mass i hav created... hope i cn find the light to tis dark path im walking nw.. i dunno wanna stay like tis 4 long coz i mite lose both parties at the same time if i dun decide fast... haix...

last of all... mi holding on to the memories of my ex is so hating mi inside out tatz y i hav left tat part alreadi...!!! she is treating mi like a trash too nw n when she wanz sumthing she msg mi if nt i guess i dun even exist in her life.. i feel so unapreciated man... W.T.H..!!! thx eh... im nt gonna entertain all ur bullshit animore my dear.. enough is enough... u tink u onli got feelingz..? hey.. i hav feelingz too ok.. onli itz tat i cry in silence at nite coz i dun wan u to noe im hurt... juz hope u wud find a guy who is betta dn mi n who cn giv u more dn wat i gav...

n my piglet.. juz wanna sae tis coz u hang up the fone last nite b4 i cud sae tis... i noe alot of guyz r after u n itz gud n bad tat u reject them but juz a sae to make u figure it out... " u alwaes leave the once tat love u n love the once tat leave u.."... tc my piglet... dun b scared to let ur feelings go coz if u hold it back. ur the 1 whoz gonna get hut or suffer in the end...

anto aka hotsuff
bleedintearsnsorrow